Check out this article written by Owen Parsons titled "What's Underneath Justin Bieber's Hair?". Hey, what a completely original idea that nobody has ever thought of before! Wait, what was that animation that TLG Media put out a few months ago? If you said "Love, Mass Effect 2 Style" you're technically right but I was talking about "Justin Bieber's Forehead" stupid.
What the Shit Collegehumor? Do you have no idea how hard I toil and suffer to bring original, timeless content like speculating on Justin Bieber's haircut to the internet? And after all my blood, sweat and dedication you think you can just steal everything I've built from underneath me and pay me back by FUCKING ME IN THE ASS WITH A DILDO MADE OF MY OWN FROZEN VOMIT?
And I know what some of you with lesser intellects are thinking. "Duh, but Niraj, isn't it possible for two different people to come up with similar joke premises on their own? Duuhhh. DUUUUUHHHHH." First of all, shut the fuck up. Second of all, go blow yourself. Third of all, NO IT FUCKING ISN'T A COINCIDENCE AT ALL YOU STUPID DOUCHE. Not convinced that this is a conspiracy against me? I submitted JBF to Collegehumor back in March. Clearly what happened was someone at Collegehumor saw the animation and said to themselves "This is hysterical, but I'm too racist to let this receive any sort of recognition on our site. I know, I'll bury it on their user page and then just hand the concept to one of our Aryan writers!" THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED AND DON'T FUCKING DENY IT.
And now Owen Parsons gets all the glory while I get PEE IN MY FACE. "HAHA!" Owen chortles, basking in the vast reserves of wealth generated by Collegehumor ad revenue, "this idiot thinks he can achieve any sort of popularity by creating original material and submitting it to our glorious website? ENJOY WALLOWING IN OBSCURITY YOU SIMPERING FOOL! SOMEONE BRING ME A BOWL OF PUPPIES FOR MY LUNCH! AND PREPARE MY CRACK PIPE!"
Ted Loves Gingers
ps Watch me do stand-up! If you don't I'll cry and cry and you'll feel wicked bad after!