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Where ya been TLG?

2011-03-25 10:28:57 by tlgmedia

First of all, New Animation! Pajama Pants - GVP. WATCH NOW!

It's been exactly one year since we put out our last full animation, "Justin Bieber's Forehead". If you're wondering what the holdup is, why? Anyways, both me and Chris are working full-time jobs. I moved to Boston and have been focusing way more on stand-up comedy, and Chris got his ass married. So now you know!

We have a few animations on the way. Pajama Pants is the first one we've released this year, but it's definitely not the only one we have finished.

-Niraj
Ted Leo Guys!

ps It's Friday, and you know what that means! DEATH FUCKING METAL



Whoo Whoo! All aboard the "People who have stabbed TLG Media in the dick" train! We've already passed South Park, Explosm, and Marvel Comics. Next stop: CollegeHumor!

Check out this article written by Owen Parsons titled "What's Underneath Justin Bieber's Hair?". Hey, what a completely original idea that nobody has ever thought of before! Wait, what was that animation that TLG Media put out a few months ago? If you said "Love, Mass Effect 2 Style" you're technically right but I was talking about "Justin Bieber's Forehead" stupid.

What the Shit Collegehumor? Do you have no idea how hard I toil and suffer to bring original, timeless content like speculating on Justin Bieber's haircut to the internet? And after all my blood, sweat and dedication you think you can just steal everything I've built from underneath me and pay me back by FUCKING ME IN THE ASS WITH A DILDO MADE OF MY OWN FROZEN VOMIT?

And I know what some of you with lesser intellects are thinking. "Duh, but Niraj, isn't it possible for two different people to come up with similar joke premises on their own? Duuhhh. DUUUUUHHHHH." First of all, shut the fuck up. Second of all, go blow yourself. Third of all, NO IT FUCKING ISN'T A COINCIDENCE AT ALL YOU STUPID DOUCHE. Not convinced that this is a conspiracy against me? I submitted JBF to Collegehumor back in March. Clearly what happened was someone at Collegehumor saw the animation and said to themselves "This is hysterical, but I'm too racist to let this receive any sort of recognition on our site. I know, I'll bury it on their user page and then just hand the concept to one of our Aryan writers!" THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED AND DON'T FUCKING DENY IT.

And now Owen Parsons gets all the glory while I get PEE IN MY FACE. "HAHA!" Owen chortles, basking in the vast reserves of wealth generated by Collegehumor ad revenue, "this idiot thinks he can achieve any sort of popularity by creating original material and submitting it to our glorious website? ENJOY WALLOWING IN OBSCURITY YOU SIMPERING FOOL! SOMEONE BRING ME A BOWL OF PUPPIES FOR MY LUNCH! AND PREPARE MY CRACK PIPE!"

-Niraj
Ted Loves Gingers

ps Watch me do stand-up! If you don't I'll cry and cry and you'll feel wicked bad after!

QUIT FUCKING RIPPING US OFF, COLLEGEHUMOR AND THE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE


"Don't bother responding, I'm not going to waste my time reading it."

2010-06-23 14:58:55 by tlgmedia
Updated

Last year we put out an animation called What Birthers Believe, which was a satire of the whole "Obama is from Kenya" movement that just won't die. There are basically two types of negative responses we get for it. The big one is from Birthers who are offended that the animation misrepresents them. They typically go something like "WHY WONT BARACK OSAMA SHOW HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE ALSO HE HAS A MONKEY WIFE". These are hilarious.

The other kind is from people who think WBB is racist. Now, obviously there is a lot of over the top racism in the animation, but in my defense it's there as a function of satire. Part of the point I'm making is that the Birther argument is mostly motivated by overt, cartoonish bigotry. It's annoying when people don't get this, but we get enough complaints that I'm starting to think maybe, MAYBE, I wasn't explicit enough about my intentions. Believe it or not, I strongly dislike accusations that I'm racist.

Yesterday we got this comment for What Birthers Believe on Youtube:

i predict racist comments.
I am black (african) AND THis is fucking racist, seriously when i saw some of your videos i subbed but this disgusts me and sorry i am unubbing, i thought, that you could be one of these americans (2%) that wasnt racist , but i was wrong. BTW we are NOT sorcerers.
Even if anyone answers i won't respond so save your time.
What an abomination...

Now, what annoys me about this comment isn't how he completely missed the point (although having to type out the sentence "BTW we are NOT sorcerers" might have been an indication that maybe it's a joke). And it's not the whiny, victimized tone this kid is taking either.

I can't stand the sentence "Even if anyone answers i won't respond so save your time." This isn't the first time I've been told that my response is going to be ignored, and every time it's FUCKING INFURIATING. It's always some asshole who thinks they're so above everyone on the moral high ground that anybody elses opinion is worthless. Making a serious accusation then completely ignoring the other sides defense isn't how you win an argument. That's what children do. That's what Birthers do. Another thing they'll say is that their time is so precious and limited that they don't want to waste any more hearing what I have to say, which is a terrible fucking lie. If you're EVER leaving comments on youtube videos, you have nothing but spare time. Go ahead and ignore my reply if you want, but don't announce it like you're such a great person that you don't even have to bother with a meaningful discussion, you fucking douchebag.

Sorry for the rambling, I get worked up for the dumbest reasons sometimes.

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Anyways, the fifth anniversary of A New Bunny went by a couple months ago. It's not exactly related, but somebody made this video, and they're awesome for it.

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Whoo!

-Niraj
Texans Loathe Gays

ps Final Fantasy XIII was a non-stop suck fest which obliterated 50 hours of my life that I can never get back. Don't bother defending the game because I'm just going to ignore you. (Kickass graphics though).



From: Jacqueline7do
Sent: 8 hours ago
Subject: hi.. how's it going!

Helo!

I wuz checking over the search, and I noticed your profile. U appear to be a very remarkable person, but i'm rather new at this sorta thing, & dont know what to do on here. Can't they have a chat thing here? I h8 writing msgs to ppl, and sometimes not receiving anything back! Anyways, if you want to talkin' with me, u could catch me over @ friend-pile.com?id=3590&profile=Dancin 4eva , my name there is Dancin4eva.

So, ya, hope to see you. I'm always lookin' to meet more ppl.
Kaylee Bell

Hear that? A spam bot thinks I'm a remarkable person!

-Niraj
Top Lesbian Groupie


Space Monkeys Adventures: Episode One IS FINALLY UP!

2010-04-01 11:36:42 by tlgmedia
Updated

Here it is everyone! After a year in production, TLG Media has FINALLY finished production on our epic space opera, Space Monkey's Adventures! I think I can say without exaggeration that this is our greatest work to date, and without a doubt our funniest, stretching the limits of what's possible in humor. We're posting act one today, but don't worry, there's plenty more to come!

HUGE thanks to Mike Parker, Chase Suddarth, Johnny Utah, Michael Swain, and Kira Buckland for their help in making this all possible.

What are you waiting for? WATCH SPACE MONKEYS ADVENTURES NOW!

Space Monkeys Adventures: Episode One IS FINALLY UP!



Five years ago today we released A New Bunny, which went on to become our most/only successful animation. To celebrate we've completely revamped it, with special guest stars Chase Suddarth (of Explosm fame) and Egoraptor (of Egoraptor fame)! Sure everything it's a parody of has been irrelevant for three years, but what the hell, I still like it.

A NEW BUNNY: EXTREME EDITION! WATCH IT OR DON'T!
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Shane Mauss is an extremely funny comedian that you should know about. Here's a clip of him on Late Night with Conan O'Brien:

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Shane has a new CD, Jokes To Make My Parents Proud, out today on Comedy Central Records. It's awesome and I highly recommend it. Spend your money on it today!
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I got Final Fantasy XIII at midnight last night (YES I LIKE FINAL FANTASY SORRY) and I'm about two hours in. It looks pretty, but so far all I've been doing is running forward, selecting "Auto-Battle" a whole bunch and wondering why Square insists on including annoying children with stupid haircuts. Despite all this I still plan on playing the shit out of it once I get back home. Anybody else pick up FFXIII yet? What do you think so far?
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I'm on Twitter. Follow me or don't!
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That's all.

-Niraj
Talk Louder Greg

A New Bunny: 5 Year Anniversary | Comedian Shane Mauss | Final Fantasy XIII | Twitter


STOP RIPPING US OFF, EVERYONE ON THE GODDAMN PLANET

2010-02-18 11:07:16 by tlgmedia
Updated

Marvel Digital Comics has a new title out called Hit-Monkey, which is about a monkey assassin in a suit. Which is a totally awesome, wicked super original idea. OH WAIT NO IT'S NOT BECAUSE TLG MEDIA DID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING FIVE YEARS AGO.

Don't believe me? Go watch The East Coast Saints. Watch the scene with the assassin monkey. Notice the date it was submitted? GODDAMN 2005.

I swear to god, first South Park, then Explosm, and now Marvel is jumping on the "lets fuck TLG Media in the ass" bandwagon.

Do you have any idea how much blood, sweat and tears I poured into this script to come up with such original, groundbreaking ideas as "Monkey Assassin"? You think something as brilliant as writing the line "Assassin Monkey flips out and kills everyone" in the script and then forcing Chris to animate it just happens overnight? THAT SHIT TOOK FOUR YEARS OF HARD WORK AND DEDICATION.

Of course, Daniel Way and Marvel Comics sure as shit don't give a flying fuck and are more than happy to just steal our incredible, earth-shaking ideas for their own profit WITHOUT EVEN GIVING US THE CREDIT WE SO CLEARLY DESERVE.

Now that they have the weight of the Disney Corporation to swing around, Marvel can just fuck over anyone they want without fear of retribution. Daniel Way is probably sitting in his mansion right now, sipping his chalice of fine bourbon and laughing. "Haha!" he declares, "I'm already rich beyond my wildest dreams, but by stealing this wonderful idea I'll be even MORE wealthy, and those retards on the internet are powerless to stop me!" Then he cackles wildly as lighting cracks outside, and he immediately retires to his bedchamber to have an orgy with his stable of concubines.

Well I'M FUCKING ONTO YOU DANIEL WAY AND MARVEL COMICS. THIS SHIT WILL NOT STAND.

-Niraj
Too Late Gary

ps Watch Love, Mass Effect 2 Style! Don't not watch it, or else you might get cancer.

STOP RIPPING US OFF, EVERYONE ON THE GODDAMN PLANET



First of all, go watch Sentient Fish Rape 4 (with special guest star and actual person JohnnyUtah!). Don't not watch it, because I will cry.

I'm going to be screening some TLG Media animations and possibly doing some stand-up at The Gas NSFW Video Showcase in Allston MA on Friday. If you live close to Boston and enjoy things that are awesome you should come. Besides, what else are you going to do on Friday? Shop more?

The Gas NSFW Video Showcase: Stand up and comedy videos by local filmmakers and comedians.

videos by
Ahmed Bharoocha and Tim Vargulish
TLG Media

stand up comedy by
Rick Canavan
Chris Fleming
Gary Petersen
Tim Vargulish
Ahmed Bharoocha

Friday, November 27, 2009, 7:15pm - 9:30pm at Great Scott Boston in Allston, MA (Harvard Ave on the B Line). 18+, $5

TLG Media has been described as "really good stuff" by Jonathan Katz of Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist fame. Comedian Mike Birbiglia says "They bring a lot to the party...Love these guys." These are facts that are true!

-Niraj
Tough Love Grandma

ps This kid hates Modern Warfare 2

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Another damn video of me doing Stand Up Comedy!

2009-10-18 10:47:50 by tlgmedia
Updated

Watch it! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED ATTENTION

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Also watch Bear Strategies. Don't not watch it.

-Niraj
Tells Lies Gratuitously


Please stop failing at PMs

2009-10-01 17:39:43 by tlgmedia
Updated

Subject: lol!
At 10/1/09 7:30 AM, ******* wrote:
How dumb can you get?

Is this a rhetorical question? If you're going to insult me I'd appreciate a bit of context. Something along the lines of "[Insert movie title] sucked, you faggot" or "I disagree with your opinion of [my opinion] because of [intelligent, well thought out counterpoint], you cocksucker." Is that so much to ask?

Subject: hey
At 9/29/09 9:28 PM, ****** wrote:
do you get behind the birthers movement great video im
conservitive

This sentence makes my head hurt. I don't want to be a grammar nazi but I think we can all agree that this would benefit greatly from some punctuation, capitalization, and proper spelling. It doesn't take that long.

Subject: about your movie
At 10/1/09 2:05 AM, ********* wrote:
Hello,

I was wondering if I could host this flash:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
513022

on: www.2flashgames.com

The flash piece is very nicely done and I will provide a link back on the page where I put your flash.

Permission to host any other flash pieces you may have would also be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your time.
- Paul

The answer is no, Paul. Stop asking.

-Niraj
Talks Like God

ps Watch Joe Wilson's Day Out! Or don't. Really I can't force you or anything. But it would be nice if you did!